Britney Spears is kind of an amazing figure. She was on telly at 11, awesomely famous at 15, the media were voraciously speculating on whether or not she was a virgin when she was 16 or 17- something that never really happened to her boyfriend Justin Timberlake- and she had a breakdown in plain sight in her early twenties. From ‘Everytime’ onwards, her songs and videos are immensely preoccupied with what it is to be a female celebrity, to be constantly followed and photographed, to be harassed, and to be unable to escape your own perceived failings. She is extremely successful but receives very little respect.
I think the media keep more of a respectful distance from male stars. Think of the upskirt shots pararazzi take of female stars getting out of cars- nothing says “you are barely human” like a man lying in the street jostling with others to get a photo of your vagina, to sell. Weight gain, fast food, bare feet, “bad” parenting, romantic mistakes, lacklustre dancing, showing her age, wearing a wig, drinking a lot of soda- I know everything Britney Spears does, and I’m not even trying that hard. What must her life be like?
Spears says the famous breakdown was caused by exhaustion, depression and alcohol- it doesn’t sound funny. But there are still people who think it’s pretty frickin’ funny. Because Britney Spears is a famous woman, and her life is ours. Here’s Sarah Silverman making jokes about Spears’s breakdown, vagina and children, and calling her slutty, after she had just come off stage at the 2007 VMAs. This was the infamous comeback performance of ‘Gimme More’, during which Spears looked tired and confused. To read the vitriol printed about it afterwards you’d think she’d slaughtered Diana Ross live on stage. But she hadn’t- she just looks tired and, y’know, confused.
This performance is parodied in the latest episode of Glee, during which Brittany S. Pierce re-enacts the real Britney’s downward spiral, including the hair incident and fights with paparazzi. There aren’t any videos of this performance of ‘Gimme More’, but here is a still of her miming through a mouthful of cheetos.
This is taking the piss out of a few things- the junk food Spears is always chastised for eating (as well as a large bag of cheetos she comes on stage with about four litres of orange soda), her bad dancing and addled mental state. So it’s attacking her for eating cheap food, being older than she was before, and being in a bad place. She should look sexy, but she looks messy and ugly, and so she deserves scorn. On Glee, only bad people and Sue Sylvester are mean. But the show itself, independent of its characters, can be a real bully. This is a rare example of the show’s humour aiming downwards, at an easy and vulnerable target. Taking the piss out of 2007 Britney Spears isn’t funny- it’s desperate and horrible, and skates near ableism, classism and sexism.
I think the best way to approach ‘troubled’ female celebrities is to make an effort not to care. Ethical non-caring. From now on, I don’t care what Britney Spears does, or Mischa Barton, or Lindsay Lohan, or Amanda Bynes. If she records a new album, great! If it’s bad, I don’t care. If she crashes her car, I don’t care. If she has relationship trouble or eats some food- don’t care. For her many years of tireless service to pop music, Britney Spears has earned our quiet support, and also our indifference.
